Megan Marie Sullivan
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Photo from Hemming’s Blog.
The Cosmic Race Cars of 2012
I was writing a check the other day for my friend’s cookie dough school fundraiser, when I had to comment to her that I couldn’t believe it was 2012.
“Dude, it’s March,” she replied, “You’re a little late if you’re only realizing it’s 2012 now.”
“But you don’t understand,” I said. “2012 was supposed to be the big year!”
“Oh, like the Age of Aquarius?”
“Yes. When I was in college, the hippies told me that there would be a massive psychic change this year.”
“When the moon is in the seventh house,” she sang to me.
“So I always believed that this year would be a big year for me. Something big would happen.”
“And Jupiter aligns with Mars … “
“And I know it sounds wacky, but I really thought that by this year I’d be on some great path towards an international move or getting married or something. Just something big.”
“Then peace will guide the planets, and love will steer the stars”
“And I really thought that what the hippies told me would be true: the cosmic race cars would change. They’d turn from primary colors to pink and purple. What do you think that means?”
“This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius … .” But then she stopped singing, and turned to me and said:
“The race cars know you’re talking about them!”
I’ve been having nightmares since.
HEY!
How’s it going?
Last week, Encyclopaedia Britannica announced that it would no longer be printing the famous encyclopedia set that used to grace so many family living rooms and geeky children’s bedrooms.
That’s probably not news to you … but would it interest you to know that I once worked for Encyclopaedia Britannica? It’s true ~ my first real job in Chicago was for the marketing department, with the CD-Rom team. This was, unfortunately, a team that wasn’t growing very fast in revenue. In fact … I kinda thought they’d stop printing the DVDs before the hardcover print sets. Fortunately, the Encylopaedia Britannica website is still up and running and worth using if you’re a high school student working on a paper.
In any case, I thought you’d like a little bit of insider background on EB (that’s what us Insiders call it) and the whole print thing. Here’s what you may not know … . until just recently, they would re-write and reprint the volumes about every two years or so, essentially creating a new edition of the hardcover set. The most famous of all the sets was the 1911 edition, as it was considered the most comprehensive. I don’t think this is the last we’ll see of the set … . even if the next edition is on ice indefinitely.
Other things you should know about Britannica:
1. We should all take this as an opportunity to consider the importance of moving forward. Things like social media, and even aggressive PR tactics represent some wasted opportunities. The charge was to always go after our “life-long learners” instead of marketing to the real target: parents. Parents who shop very differently now from when EB experienced its highpoint.
2. Shoot for quality over quantity. So Google and Wikipedia are beating you at updates on recent information? Use all those in-house scholars to publish timely journals on subjects that are interesting now. Or, I don’t know, pay Ken Burns to make a documentary about it and then mark it up.
3. Don’t be afraid. We spend a lot of time worrying about what are competitors are doing, when what we should do is just align our own efforts and teams towards projects that are successful.
4. Train your employees in any skill that they could conceivably pick up. Learn like crazy.
Who brought the donuts?
I’ve been working pretty hard lately, as you can see by lack of posts on most of my blogs. One of the things that I’ve noticed about this new working environment is the low tolerance for people who just aren’t that productive.
Productivity, or lack thereof, can be the result of many factors: training, fear of failure, or sometimes a misalignment of tasks to the wrong people. I myself am becoming aware of how unfocused I can get when I’m not working on a strategic or creative task, but I think that’s a tenet of the fact that I spend most of my day in a constant battle to engage users on social media, and about every hour or so I have to drop what I’m doing and go find something interesting to share with our fans. That kind of situation can make it difficult to put on headphones and just lose myself in any long data entry project like I used to.
In any case, the donuts! When I was working for the ad agency, there was a an account manager who basically ran all of the big accounts, and many of those accounts involved other ad agencies and consultants. Some of them would define the term “clusterfuck.”
The long and short of this story is that the account manager, for reasons lost to history, had a bone to pick with another account manager at another agency. The reasoning? This other account manager was, according to her, lazy or did not know what she was doing. In other words, she was incompetent. She wasn’t holding up her end of the bargain. She wasn’t doing her end of the teamwork.
But what did the other ad agency say in her defense when she went to complain? “She’s really nice! She brings donuts to the office!” Our account manager’s response? “I don’t care about donuts. If she doesn’t know how to do this work, she shouldn’t be working on it.”
So let me ask you this:Have you been “bringing donuts” to work lately? Are you unable to accomplish your tasks and attempting to make up for it with buttery treats? Don’t try to hide your incompetency with pastries. The busy people don’t have time to stop and eat the toxic treats you offer, and they’ll see right through your ploy.
I bring this up because an intern recently asked me if she should bring donuts (those exact words) to the office since she seemed to have a tough time accomplishing anything. I was quick to tell her not to: I didn’t want her to get into that habit, and since then she’s been working a lot harder just to finish her tasks, which was what I wanted all along.
Artwork by Mirry92
Your philosophizing is of no interest to Kitty - Kitty is, after all, a god.
(via fuckyeahdementia)
My cat died on Monday. I’ve been very upset about it, but I’m sure she’s in a better place.
In my dreams, God meets Celeste, my kitty, at the pearly gate and says: “You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you desire, all you have to do is ask.”
Celeste says, “Well, I’d love to have a good place to sit.”
God says, ” Say no more.” And instantly a fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer He made Celeste.
The mice said.“all our life we’ve had to run. We’ve been chased by cats, dogs, and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn’t have to run any more.”
God says, “say no more.” And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
About a week later, God decides to check and see how Celeste is doing. The cat is sound asleep on her new pillow. God gently nudges her awake and asks, “How are you doing? Are you happy here?”
Celeste yawns and stretches and says.“Oh, I’ve never been happier in my life. And those meals on wheels you’ve been sending over are the Best!”
Dear God, I hope not.
” The universe is probably littered with the one-planet graves of cultures which made the sensible decision that there’s no good reason to go to space — each discovered, studied, and remembered by the ones who made the irrational decision.”
XKCD can be incredibly motivating. I think I’m going to ditch all current efforts and focus on writing stories that make kids want to explore.
